I keep thinking about posting something in this outdated blog, but I let the fact that I’ve got nothing to say get in my way. Perhaps I ought to succumb to the inspiration, nevertheless, and blather about whatever is going on in my life at the moment. And to be honest, that feels like very little.
Adam and I have been homebasing at my folk’s place on Rayburn Lake in the Pineywoods of southeast Texas since the beginning of October. We’ve spent the weekdays with them, and weekends traveling to various Texas towns visiting family and friends: Fort Worth, Galveston, Houston, Austin. It sort of feels like I’m 28 years old and my boyfriend and I just moved back in with my parents. Sort of, but not entirely.
If you’re not in the know, let me fill you in. Adam and I sold most of our stuff back in January this year (’16) and left Portland, Oregon armed with a CR-V and a popup camper named Suzanne. The camper wasn’t part of the plan, but by divine grace appeared at a sleazy used-car dealership in Salem, OR on our way out of town. Divine grace and last minute Craigslisting.
We’ve spent the last eight months traveling by camper around the perimeter of the United States and Canada, hitting upwards of thirteen National Parks in the centennial of their existence (divine accident, we had no idea), becoming familiar with the vast expanse that is southern Canada, and honing our skills at being gracious guests of family, friends, and campgrounds along the way. We did spend two of the eight months subletting in Los Angeles so Adam could do some work, and now the month of October and pseudo-travel (compared to the rest of our year) in Texas.
We are pausing in Texas for so long because we are kind of stuck in the in-between…we’ve got a three week trip with Adam’s family to NYC in November, which meant we needed to purchase a flight a month back from some airport somewhere and therefore commit to a certain place at a certain time. And we arrived at that place, excited to see my parents, in the beginning of October. So here we are, in a town where the only place to get groceries is at what my parents call “The Mall” and what is actually a Dollar General or a Family Dollar or something. I really don’t know which, we seriously all just call it the mall. But, it’s beautiful here, and peaceful, and the environment and the people in it give both Adam and I lots of time to contemplate and prepare for our next move.
…Which is what?
We don’t know.
Here’s what I’ve got so far:
1) Neither of us feel like we’re ready to settle down in the traditional sense. What I mean is, we don’t want to “move anywhere” and commit to being there for the foreseeable future.
2) It feels like we are done road tripping with Suzanne. Not that we will never camp again, just that we aren’t in the mood to continue driving thousands of miles a week and camping almost every night. We want a little more consistency than that. We want to get to know a place and the people in it.
3) We are ready to travel outside the United States. Specifically, off this continent (although South America could suffice…) But, we’ve got some fun and important events (weddings, reunions) coming up in the new year. I suppose this is always the case.
4) We want to work. The easiest way to work is to commit to being in one place. However, we want to be mobile. So we need to figure out how to pimp our wares while in motion, or while moving somewhat regularly.
5) I don’t know exactly what my wares are, except that they aren’t wares at all, they’re more-than-likely a service. I taught yoga, energy, & relaxation in group classes and workshops, worked with private clients one-on-one, and read Tarot cards back in Portland. (Three years ago I’d have been appalled if you told me I’d include Tarot reading as part of my career. I’m not a psychic. I’m intuitive, perceptive, and a cohesive story teller. Tarot cards are pictures that tell a story about the querent in that moment. More on that here. )
What I do know is this: Both Adam and I have lived our lives in a way that’s validated the philosophy that if we’re open to it and ask for it, it will absolutely come. This doesn’t mean we get to sit around and drool over Netflix until someone calls and offers us a million dollars. Not at all. We have to consistently do the things that feed our souls, work on our crafts, nourish our minds and spirits, stay active in our own passions, and interact with the world around us. We have to reach out and make it known we are open to new opportunities. We do research. We look at places to live, ways to work there, and cost of living. We talk to people in our networks. We communicate in words and in intentions with people and with the universe, on a tangible and on a spiritual level. But we don’t rush into anything because we feel as if we aren’t doing enough and that feels uncomfortable. We don’t force. As much as possible, we do our self-directed work, ask for opportunities, stay open to hearing something we would never have expected or known to ask for, and remain patient.
The in-between, see. Something is coming, but we aren’t there yet. Beyond our trip to NYC, something is coming. We must only make sure we stay fresh and alert, research and feel out what feels right/wrong/possible financially, and remain open to the whispers of opportunity that bring forth our next adventure.
None of this is terribly comfortable. Not knowing. Being in-between. Livin’ on a prayer.